Friday, October 18, 2013

Am I making excuses? for not dating

Is it possible I am simply making excuses for not ‘dating’ or playing?  I mean I have headaches that are killer and the slightest touch would send me into a killer headache.  I do tire easily.  Now my hand will go numb and I can lose use of it. 

My one friend said I could always date without sex but I don’t see how that would make sense for me.  I don’t want to get emotionally involved and then find out they are too big for me, too rough, ect.  Or worse yet when I piss them off, because that will happen, I have to know they can control their temper.  What if I am not submissive enough or not passionate enough?  What if I cannot take enough pain for them?  I can take a bit but from what I have seen not a lot. 

What if they hurt me?  I don’t want them to feel bad because I am weak.  Also, what if they run when I get hurt the next time?  There is always a next time.  What if he cross a limit accidentally and it freaks me out?  I have one limit, if I state why it is a limit then they could use it against me easily.  I have had set backs recently what if I have another.

Am I using all of this as an excuse?  I have 2 months to wait until I see the doctor that will give me answers.  

No comments:

Post a Comment