Is it possible I am simply making excuses for not ‘dating’
or playing? I mean I have headaches that
are killer and the slightest touch would send me into a killer headache. I do tire easily. Now my hand will go numb and I can lose use
of it.
My one friend said I could always date without sex but I don’t
see how that would make sense for me. I don’t
want to get emotionally involved and then find out they are too big for me, too
rough, ect. Or worse yet when I piss
them off, because that will happen, I have to know they can control their
temper. What if I am not submissive enough
or not passionate enough? What if I cannot
take enough pain for them? I can take a
bit but from what I have seen not a lot.
What if they hurt me?
I don’t want them to feel bad because I am weak. Also, what if they run when I get hurt the
next time? There is always a next
time. What if he cross a limit
accidentally and it freaks me out? I have
one limit, if I state why it is a limit then they could use it against me
easily. I have had set backs recently
what if I have another.
Am I using all of this as an excuse? I have 2 months to wait until I see the doctor
that will give me answers.
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