Is it possible I am simply making excuses for not ‘dating’ or playing? I mean I have headaches that are killer and the slightest touch would send me into a killer headache. I do tire easily. Now my hand will go numb and I can lose use of it.
My one friend said I could always date without sex but I don’t see how that would make sense for me. I don’t want to get emotionally involved and then find out they are too big for me, too rough, ect. Or worse yet when I piss them off, because that will happen, I have to know they can control their temper. What if I am not submissive enough or not passionate enough? What if I cannot take enough pain for them? I can take a bit but from what I have seen not a lot.
What if they hurt me? I don’t want them to feel bad because I am weak. Also, what if they run when I get hurt the next time? There is always a next time. What if he cross a limit accidentally and it freaks me out? I have one limit, if I state why it is a limit then they could use it against me easily. I have had set backs recently what if I have another.
Am I using all of this as an excuse? I have 2 months to wait until I see the doctor that will give me answers.