In 14 days ten hours, I will be setting in the doctor’s
office that will make or break me. I
need to tell me everything. This
appointment will tell me when I can move on, if I will ever be able to.
Will I be allowed to move on?
Is it safe for me to move on?
When can I have sex?
When can I play?
When can I seek new dom?
When can I do anything?
When can I work full time?
How will I move on?
How will get my life back?
When will my headaches go away?
Will I be normal again?
Can I be normal again?
Is it possible for me to have a life again?
Will I always be like this?
Will I change again?
Am I going to continue to change?
Can I force myself to change?
It is so hard. I have
all these going through my head all the time.
They never stop. I cannot make
them stop they just will not stop. I cannot
make them stop. I want them to, but they
will not. I just want it all to
stop. It will never stop. It is always there. I want the questions to stop. They won’t stop. I just want them all to stop. I want the thoughts to stop. The worries to stop. I want everything just to stop just for a
moment. I want answers.
This appointment will give me that. I just have to wait. 14 days.
Waiting. I just have to
wait. I have been waiting. The waiting just seems to be so intensified. I do not know if I will get all my
answers. I want my answers. I need my answers. I want my answers. I need my answers. I am tired of this. I want it all just to disappear. But I need this appointment. I am terrified of this appointment, but I have
no choice. I have to have answers. Which is worse bad answers or no
answers?