You build traditions over a space of years. If you take in traditions that was built in
by your own family growing up and blend them into your partner’s traditions, it
makes it all the worse. It is so hard to
wipe him out. We had our traditions set,
we celebrated at my aunt’s xmas eve, with my family. We did ours x mas morning, his family xmas
evening. All together shopping was a
blast, 7 nephew and nieces, 4 siblings and in laws, his parents, four aunts and
uncles, five cousins, plus each other and that is just those we plan to buy
for; sometimes there are ones who were visiting that we would add to the
mix. Cards were insane. I haven’t sent out cards the last two years
because of my issues regardless.
I didn’t have the ability to adjust last year. I was too out of it. I just sort of went with it.
This year I live with my brother and I still have no one to
spend it with. I will be in my room
alone. I have no one to spend it
with. I will be alone. Perhaps I will go to a Chinese restaurant to
eat.
I have no tradition.
Just me and my cat. Just me and
my lovely adorable cat.
I lost my hours all of them.
I have been so depressed these past couple of days that I didn’t get out
of bed for anything. I went a full day
without feeding my cat. I can’t believe
that.
Next year I will have my own tradition. It will be mine and mine alone. No more sharing holiday crap with people and
traditions and habits with other people.
Maybe I need to break the habit of going to the dungeon every two
weeks. But I think I will wait until I move. Right now, I need something to look forward
to, something that is not horrible.
