Am I making excuses? for not dating

Is it possible I am simply making excuses for not ‘dating’ or playing?  I mean I have headaches that are killer and the slightest touch would send me into a killer headache.  I do tire easily.  Now my hand will go numb and I can lose use of it. 

My one friend said I could always date without sex but I don’t see how that would make sense for me.  I don’t want to get emotionally involved and then find out they are too big for me, too rough, ect.  Or worse yet when I piss them off, because that will happen, I have to know they can control their temper.  What if I am not submissive enough or not passionate enough?  What if I cannot take enough pain for them?  I can take a bit but from what I have seen not a lot. 

What if they hurt me?  I don’t want them to feel bad because I am weak.  Also, what if they run when I get hurt the next time?  There is always a next time.  What if he cross a limit accidentally and it freaks me out?  I have one limit, if I state why it is a limit then they could use it against me easily.  I have had set backs recently what if I have another.

Am I using all of this as an excuse?  I have 2 months to wait until I see the doctor that will give me answers.  

Conversations with a female friend: about dating each other.

<Crossed posted from Fetlife>
She says: I would so date you if you were a guy, but you are female and we are both straight.
I laughed: Are you sure?
She laughed: Yes. Aren’t you?
I chuckled: Well, it wouldn’t matter, you aren’t open enough sexually for us to compatible.
(My way of saying you are way the fuck too vanilla for me. I was trying to be nice. Did you guys know you could have sex without any biting scratching or anything of sort? I mean any at all. No one grabbing you and holding you place. No pulling you back when you try to wiggle away from their tongue or fingers. I did know that, until she told me. Wow, I thought I had vanilla sex once or twice, but I guess I was wrong.) Anyway back to the point.
She goes on: I am open sexually.
I laughed: Now, think about everything I have ever told you.
She went silent: Okay, but you never answered the straight question.
I laughed: I have never really came to the position where it has come up.

We talk, more than anyone. We call each other nearly every night to say good night.

There was a lot more to it but that was the main points.

The last line comes from: I had a coworker/friend who was hitting on me I am not sure if it was in fun, seriousness, or both, probably both. However, I wonder now if I was more open then what would have happened.

My question is while I have only been attracted to males, is it so far, or is it the way I am? Is it possible that I just haven’t met a female I am attracted to? I am not saying this actually applies to anyone or me. Is this an actual possibility?

My friend and I are really close friends, but I have no sexual attraction. However, I have another friend that there are times I feel uncomfortable sleeping next to. She had gotten a new mattress and we laid down for I swear five minutes. We woke up next to each other, really close to each other, in a rather awkward position. I am not uncomfortable, because it freaks me out she is a girl, but because she is my friend. However, is that true? Or does it make me uncomfortable because she is a girl?